Archived News starting from 01-05-2010 and earlier
Blog
My refrigerator of almost 10 years sounded off with the click of death yesterday, signalling compressor failure. Today I transferred all my frozen goods to my
new freezer while I wait for a replacement part. This marks yet another rare advantage of living in the forsaken wasteland of Michigan; natural freezers. Of course now that it's location is known, I expect my imitation crab legs will be walking off shortly.
Lastnight, the temperature hit 7°. This is a
record low for 2010 (so far). To celebrate a trip to Sonic was in order. Braving 15 degree weather, I made my way to a surprisingly packed stall service to enjoy an affront to the weather. While the food was good, the 20 minutes of not running my engine gave me a new appreciation for animals left in cars during the winter.
+7 °F at 06:34 on 03 January |

Stardate 63466.9: Lisa arranged for a quiet evening with
the Kelleys for an event not to exceed a 3/5 excitement level to ring in the new year. The
morlocks sphinx monitoring system quickly caught wind of the event and were invited, along with the Schwartzs which immediately exceeded the planned excitement level. Fortunately the
new Family Guy,
Things and excessive alcohol were enough to keep everyone entertained.
- Kirk-shirt-wearing-nerd out

A post-christmas miracle is responsible for another Google check that arrived today. The gap between checks was only a month longer than
usual this time, which is surprising given the state of the economy (and subsequent reduced number of ad-clicking fingers/bots). I credit the federal bailout money for keeping my Google check regular, and gladly accept it. As with the
last few checks however, this one is not going to stimulate the economy in it's time of need, but instead getting set aside for the next 1,000 commenter party which I anticipate to occur in 2035. Assuming we survive the galactic alignment of 2012 with John Cusack, and thawing of Simon Phoenix in 2032 I should have enough saved for at least 3 rounds of hoverkarts and slightly more than the standard ration of protein paste for refreshments.

After making his dissatisfaction with my website code
known to the world, the
Morlock was not satisfied. Knowing the hamster that runs my Access database can only sprint for a few minutes at a time, he used the
DOS tool of choice to thoroughly exhaust it to death. If it took you an hour to load this page, now you know why. It's only a matter of time now before this site is finally put out of it's misery.
The Josephs made a trip to Michigan to enjoy our 18 degree weather, so the
Senator and I rolled out the proper
Box Bar greeting. Lisa is deathly afraid of Florida and their hurricanes, so she took off for Cleveland well before their arrival, feeling safe only after a 2.5 hour buffer was in place. A feast of the plowmans lunch and several hours later our group dispersed and Joseph visited my house to help inject some Florida, and play some 1 vs 100.

The Xbox collective gains another victim today as I loaned my extender Xbox to the
Morlock in anticipation of his delayed Elite. After indoctrinating him into the cult and dutifully avoiding the side effects such as girlfriend desertion and wallet lightening he was
up and running. I managed to spend over an hour deflowering him while Erin looked on sadly, knowing her share of the smokestack and siren maintenance was about to increase exponentially.

Tonight marks the day the hardest achievement I've ever worked for finally
unlocked. Presently only 64 / 9,561 gamers have it, and after 80 hours of grind it's clear why. For 2 weeks I was a slave to my Xbox, starting a race and then enjoying 15-30 minutes of life before being called back to start another. It ran at work, at home, and in my car to maximize available time investment. On a positive note, the sad reality that is my life has come to light, and I've now sworn off attacking these kinds of achievements. I stuck it to the sick bastard that included it in Forza 3 in the hopes the owner would retain the copy for years, and even put it up on eBay for good measure. It's clear I have a sickness that needs to be addressed. Ignore the fact that I'm cranking through Band Hero as I write this.

Several months ago, I dared to dream of a day when
Myrn and
Joseph, two friends
flung to opposite ends of the United States, would join me in an Xbox Live party. Tonight, that dream finally
came true, with a
genuine coast to coast party taking place. An attempt was made to play 1 vs 100, the only game we all had available, but mostly
it was a glorious hour of utter nonsense and shenanigans far surpassing my expectations. Now our childhood dreams of
killing zombies together will finally come to pass.

With my
new car delayed indefinitely, I decided it was time to step it up and join the Honda Civic i-VTEC Type R crowd. Instead of getting a new car, I just slapped an emblem from a new car on my trunklid. Problem solved. While my boosted engine may qualify the emblem, breaking the rules for Type R branding, I still plan to rev my engine furiously when overmatched at a stoplight to compensate.
Click Here for older News