AtomicInternet Archived News

News Results for California. Limited to 75 results max.

Digging through boxes of junk stored under my stairs, I discovered some original toys my mother had stashed long ago for me to pass on to my future children. Amazingly, I did in fact find a woman willing to have sex with me and now have a daughter to accept said toys. I gladly cleaned up and handed her some dinosaurs from the early 90s show creatively titled "Dinosaurs," some California Raisins, Micro Machines and a few crappy transformers. I did not, however, give up the 1988-1990 era McDonalds Transformers (OK, they look more like crappy GoBots) I found. I decided to keep these for myself even after discovering they are essentially worthless on eBay. In fact after discovering they did not appreciate I immediately made a bad decision and purchased the remaining members I did not have in my collection. They now sit on my desk at work, reminding me of my childhood dreams of NASA and exploring Mars that remain as yet unfulfilled.

I did not feel the earthquake. A few people in Detroit and most of my east coast friends claimed they did, but apparently Livonia is impervious to such natural disasters. Despite my frequent trips to California I've never felt one there either. I'm beginning to think it's some elaborate hoax because I've yet to experience one. Enorym's theory of HAARP related testing is much more plausible as you can measure the output from that array with respect to the claimed earthquakes.

It's been over two years since my last visit to Myrn Halaraiaous McBagaltoff Bagalay so I was long overdue in the sex bed. Upon arrival, I was accosted by a hooded Myrn and the Ninja, who then immediately delivered me to the nearest In-And-Out as the California visitors handbook dictates. Filled with west coast exclusive greasy goodness, we settled into a routine of landmark visits including the Winchester Mystery House, Frys Electronics and Jollibee in San Jose (so now I DO know the way to San Jose). Next up was a San Francisco trip to Pier 39 utilizing the abundant public transportation. A stop at the seals convinced us we needed to explore the docked submarine and liberty ship nearby, after which Myrn mentioned Castro street causing me to immediately board the first train out of San Francisco. Shockingly, Idiocracy was never played in the house of Myrn so after correcting that mistake it was off to LA for E3.

With Senator Kelleys house cleaned for showings, his annual event was transferred to the same bowling alley Enorym had his birthday party 6 years ago. While Enorym has since moved on to California, Whiney Ho and Schwartz returned, along with Tigerbomb, Gina, Morlock and Arizona. A generous helping of $1.75 games and $2 beer contributed to the perfect mix of intoxication and shenanigans that carried over into the after party. Fun was mandated and confirmed to have occured for everyone involved, despite a showing of the crappiest Halloween movie ever. Thanks to the Senator and Lisa for all the planning, and to everyone else who showed up and prevented me from spending Halloween on my Xbox.

My trip to California last month ended with a $100 bill folded into the back seat of Enoryms mustang, which I only alerted him to after I was boarding my plane home. The deception was necessary to combat his insistence that he pay for everything. Twice I was able to wrestle a meal bill out of his hands and pay for it, but my L.A. flight, transportation and all the other meals were gratis. Unable to accept the $100 (which probably didn't even cover the flight,) he took advantage of Stavos recent trip (also all expenses paid) to sneak an envelope with the $100 into his luggage. I had to document the note since I immediately missed him and his brand of comedy. The envelope was passed at Stavos' 30th birthday party, where our wives and us quickly became the most obnoxious members of the party, with Lisas signature laugh-seizure indicating the level of entertainment. Later that night, while playing Xbox with Excelcier I realized how lucky I am to be surrounded by so many great friends, except for Duane who never showed up for Resident Evil 5. So here's my sappy "thank you" to everyone who makes my life so great (if you're reading this, that's you), and for helping me dupe Lisa into marrying me. Let it also be know the $100 will soon be returned to its rightful owner.

The train that is my California adventure had one last scheduled stop, and it was second only to the beach in epicness. The Computer History Museum in Mountainview was a place I could easily spend a week straight, and if possible I would consider living in it. The entire range of computer technology ranging from the Babbage engine to modern PCs was represented. All the "artifacts" were protected by only a rope, giving full unobstructed views, including that old electronics smell that permeated the building. A mandatory stop for any nerd who happens to be in the area.

Our trip to Los Angeles began with a bird splat shortly after takeoff. Upon hearing a loud thud and Myrns "Oh my God" klaxon you can clearly see the aftermath of a flock of seagulls (birds, not the 80s band) hitting the wing, less than 50ft from the engine. Fortunately we were on an Airbus A320 which means our outcome would have been identical to the Hudson crash, complete with New Yorkers appearing in the water with us. After an altercation with a prada sunglasses wearing wife abuser, we were on our way to Beverly Hills so we could talk like Cameron from Ferris Buellers Day Off and take photos of all the rich houses that lost 50% of their value. A stop at Carneys Express resulted in Myrn testing the rigidity of the rental car frame as he bottomed out on the curb. All drivers owning $80,000+ vehicles in the immediate area (every car but ours) snubbed their noses in disapproval. The 78 degree weather demanded a trip to the beach, so after a short cruise on Mulholland drive we obliged in Malibu where I cursed my decision not to include shorts in my wardrobe. Our final destination was Slappy and his wife/fiance/girlfriend where we learned he is deathly afraid of crossing the street, and that Weinderschnitzel makes a pretty good Sea Dog (so named because it plops undigested in the toilet). A twisty and nautious trip into the mountains yielded a great view of Los Angeles where Myrn once again regaled the tale of the battle of L.A.

My great California escape has begun! After being greeted by the Myrn, our first order of business was to get some In and Out in my belly. My favorite west coast fast food place did not disappoint, and we were off to a Tesla dealership. We confirmed I can't fit in the car and that electric cars are quiet. Having learned nothing, it was off to Frys where we were kicked out for taking photos. The only logical follow up is NASA Ames Research center, where we were shocked by free 3D glasses and free admission to their museum. The terrorists win once again as we were informed that since 9/11 tours of the base are not allowed. $2.50 astronaut ice cream was the only consolation we had. After picking up Loida, it was time to watch the sunset at an abandoned military fort turned bum preserve turned dump. But in California, even a dump is better than Michigan.

My recent adventure with Vista Backup yielded a modest gain in data transfer performance thanks to the fourth drive in my RAID. My disk performance boost came just in time to help keep me well above Senator Kelley's new configuration. His recent upgrade to 64-bit Vista bested my video performance. The data transfer crown for Michigan is all that keeps me going, and I can't let him have it. Perhaps the California champion could run HD Tune for me and pass along the screenshot?

Myrone left for California over 3 years and 4 months ago. Attempts to replace him never panned out, and I've been lacking in the Myrone department ever since. When cheap airfare to California presented itself I decided it was time for a visit. After my airline debacle, I was greeted with a slightly larger Myrone than I remember. I was then whisked away in a wild mountain drive of terror before landing at the house of Myrn. Shortly thereafter began my whirlwind tour of Golden Gate Bridge, Silicon Valley, downtown San Francisco and Alcatraz. My planned visit to Brian was cancelled due to an abnormally large amount of Myrone and a lengthy drive time, but his spirit was with us during our visit to Castro street. I felt it surround me. My time in California quickly drew to a close, and my post-vacation depression began shortly after being dropped off at the airport. Time now, for a new counter.

A rant regarding my flight to California.

• If you arrive 2 hours before your flight leaves, the flight will be delayed an hour.
• If your ID expired 4 days ago, you will be randomly selected for the cavity search.
• If you have a connecting flight that leaves at 10:45pm, you will not arrive until 10:47pm.
• When you arrive at your hotel 6 hours before your flight leaves, a full bus of people will arrive just before you.
• The hotel will only have one clerk to process everyone when you arrive.
• The people checking in will complain about their flight departing in 12 hours, you'll enjoy the irony.
• Wakeup calls will not work if your phone was knocked off the hook
• Free breakfast is only enjoyable if you have more than 5 minutes to eat it.
• Hotel Airport shuttles departing on the half hour leave 5 minutes early if you arrive 4 minutes early.
• Arriving at the airport 45 minutes before your flight leaves means there will be a 45 minute security line.
• There is a ""late first class"" security line for first class customers.
• When the security guard for the first class security line isn't looking, you can sneak past her.
• Your coach status won't be a problem past the first guard.
• If your ID expired 4 days ago, you will be randomly selected for the cavity search.
• A 20 minute cavity search is faster than a 45 minute line.
• The chemical detectors know your flight departure time, and detect explosive residue if it's less than 15 minutes away.
• When you hear an overhead announcement that your plane is departing in 2 minutes, run.
• Running half a mile to the gate results in dizziness and stinkiness.

Despite freezing weather and bouts of rain, my annual camping trip in Ipperwash was a success. Two nights of intoxicated fun yielded such memories as the search for the Gnome, butter from a creamer, suggestive photos, and all kinds of meat. This year was also the most attended with representatives from California, Indiana, Ohio, Illinois and Toronto. Unfortunately the weather prevented me from becoming as intoxicated as I'd have liked, but there's always next year.

Tonight Jaird managed to find two other motorcyclists and his dad for a total of 5 people to ride to Royal Oak for bike night. Since he's moving to Ohio this weekend, and is the only friend I know that has a motorcycle, it will be my last bike night for some time. Fortunately he's only 3 hours away, unlike some guy in California, so I'm sure I'll still see him for LAN parties and the occasional motorcycle trip. He's a great friend and I'm sad to see him go. Bike night was definately the best way to send him off. Those of you wondering what you can do to ease my loss (Tim) can buy a motorcycle. Good luck in Ohio Jaird, if you get tired of all the flatness come back and visit.

Today is Lisa's birthday which means today she finally turned 18. Since I'm 21 that also means for 6 months we're only 3 years apart. As a special birthday present, I got the neighbor to wake us up at 8:00am with a tree removal service which made her very happy. Through some weird cosmic anomaly, today also marks the 3rd anniversary of Enorym's California exodus. The statute of limitations on friendship states that any friend who does not return for a visit after 3 years of absence officially does not exist anymore. The recruitment for a new Enorym never really took off, so it looks like I'm out a Myrn. Unfortunate, but who am I to argue with regulations.

On August 30th, 1969 the very first node of the ARPANet was brought online at the University of California, Los Angeles. October 1st the second host was brought online at the Stanford Research Center. October 29th the first login attempt was made which crashed both systems involved. The ARPANet evolved and was eventually used almost exclusively by educational institutuions until the gopher protocol began to attract more mainstream users. Of course the biggest development was the introduction of the World Wide Web interface which was the engine that allowed for AOL and script kiddies to come into existance. As you may or may not know, this server is powering the next generation of the internet, known as the interweb. It's time to choose sides.

Enorym is now engaged to this girl in California. Together they are heading up the Philipino political party with the primary agenda item to silence neighbors that complain when their children are sleeping. Congratulations Enorym! Here are some relevant photos for the occasion. Excited about his recent engagement, Enorym has announced that not only is he now a father, but also that his fiance and him are moving into a new house together! As before, here are more appropriate photos.

Way back in 1995, while I was in high school, I started work at DataServ, an IT contractor for Novi schools. At that job I met Ryan who became a good friend of mine. We would eat lunch at Bates Burgers and use the subsequent digestive gas to knock each other out of the rooms we were assigned to run CAT5 cable through. We also made many road trips to other school districts, during one of which he decided to jerk my steering wheel causing us to 480 on the highway (entertaining after we stopped). We had alot of fun both at work and outside of it, but eventually he moved to California and we lost contact. Recently, he was at 5th Ave the same time I was there for Jeremy's bachelor party. We talked for a long time about what each of us had done in the last 5 years since we had seen each other. We exchanged numbers and vowed to see each other again soon. That was three weeks ago. Tuesday night his sister called me and told me he had passed away. Apparently a blood disease with flu symptoms was caught too late and he died Tuesday evening. His viewing was today, and as sad as it was seeing him laying there I felt fortunate we were able to talk again once more before he was gone. I'll miss you Ryan, and I'm honored to have been your friend.

Today is Myrone's birthday, but unfortunately he moved to California so I can't take him out to BoxBar for the occasion. Instead, I've decided to pay a few curb squirrels to dress up in bright orange jackets and knock on my door at various times today. If you see one on the gnome cam you can relive the days of Myrone with me.

During Enorym's photo rampage of California, he stumbled upon more proof of the undeniable truth, set in stone.

Myrone left today for California. I helped him pack his U-haul and gave him a hug that put me under question. Always willing to lend a hand, he helped me get my Cougar to where it is now more than anyone else, including ground effects and my supercharger. He was always willing to tag along for car shows and autocross events, and stopped by to make me laugh from time to time. I'll miss his random visits and unique sense of humor. While we'll still talk and chat online, life will be a little less interesting without Myrone nearby. Good luck in California, and thanks for being such a great friend, both now and in the future.
Myrone has been gone for: