Laws Of Airline Travel

12-15-2006 Laws Of Airline Travel

5 COMMENTS

A rant regarding my flight to California.

If you arrive 2 hours before your flight leaves, the flight will be delayed an hour.
If your ID expired 4 days ago, you will be randomly selected for the cavity search.
If you have a connecting flight that leaves at 10:45pm, you will not arrive until 10:47pm.
When you arrive at your hotel 6 hours before your flight leaves, a full bus of people will arrive just before you.
The hotel will only have one clerk to process everyone when you arrive.
The people checking in will complain about their flight departing in 12 hours, you'll enjoy the irony.
Wakeup calls will not work if your phone was knocked off the hook
Free breakfast is only enjoyable if you have more than 5 minutes to eat it.
Hotel Airport shuttles departing on the half hour leave 5 minutes early if you arrive 4 minutes early.
Arriving at the airport 45 minutes before your flight leaves means there will be a 45 minute security line.
There is a ""late first class"" security line for first class customers.
When the security guard for the first class security line isn't looking, you can sneak past her.
Your coach status won't be a problem past the first guard.
If your ID expired 4 days ago, you will be randomly selected for the cavity search.
A 20 minute cavity search is faster than a 45 minute line.
The chemical detectors know your flight departure time, and detect explosive residue if it's less than 15 minutes away.
When you hear an overhead announcement that your plane is departing in 2 minutes, run.
Running half a mile to the gate results in dizziness and stinkiness.

User Comments for 12-15-2006:

Been there... done that... wrote the book! I've travelled so much in the past for work it's amazing!
Excelcier

So what your saying Excelcier is that your ass is VERY clean? :)
Stavos

No, what I'm saying is that I've played the game enough to know how to AVOID the anal enema :)
Excelcier

Excelcier knows how to avoid it but he enjoys it so much he makes sure to get one every time.
MorlockPrime

Bend and cough
Ex

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