AtomicInternet Archived News

This morning I woke up to cries of "the internet is gone!" from Lisa. Thinking quickly, I decided the three most likely events that could bring down the internet was a colossal solar flare, multi-targeted thermonuclear attack, or a router worm of untold evil that jams every switch in the world with garbage. Since my alarm clock was still working I ruled out the solar flare, and the lack of zombies ruled out the thermonuclear attack, which left the worm to end all worms as the likely culprit. I sprang into action and retrieved my emergency cash, gold ingots and platinum bars along with my bucket of food and generator, then threw all of it along with Lisa into my truck. Before I could embark on my planned escape route from certain financial meltdown and social chaos my phone buzzed and my heart skipped a beat. Taking it from the holster I was amazed to see my google alert for the HDPC-20 flash across my screen. Daring to hope, I loaded up my mobile browser and was greeted with Google. A few more websites later and I was convinced the internet was alive and well. Running downstairs I discovered that in fact my internet connection was down, not the entire internet. I explained to Lisa that our internet connection is not the entire internet, and asked that in future outages she be more specific about what exactly is gone. Crisis averted, I went back to bed.