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Archived News starting from 04-21-2013 and earlier

Despite my very specific request that Lisa only allow Y chromosone carriers into her eggs, once again I am having a daughter. Clearly she does not want me to have a son, knowing I will love whatever comes out of her vagina unconditionally. I can already see my life 16 years from now, with 16 and 18 year old daugters. Hopefully by then we live in a police state and I'll be able to monitor every minute of their lives, sending a jolt of electricity to their communication implants when they get close to a boy.

Bring your kid to work day is still 10 days out, but since Lila is under 6 she doesn't qualify. To protest, I decided to bring her today instead, when the bring your kid to work day officials were least expecting it. A tour of my office, the giant catbox of Detroit and the street meat vendors was sufficient to convince her to stay in school and get a better job than me.

After being talked into Defiance by several people at work, I was disappointed to find the same old rivalry preventing a cross-platform experience. Rumor has it the PC, Xbox and PS3 instances of the game are seperated by a simple firewall at the request of those involved. Regardless, the game is enjoyable enough to get past the false hope. The most interesting thing I've found so far however, is an in-game patching system. Instead of waiting on the painfully slow Xbox certification process to get updates, Trion somehow got MS to buy into a self-contained system that bypasses them completely. The result is almost daily updates similar to what PC MMO players have enjoyed forever. This gives me hope for the next Xbox being more open to game developers and less restrictive (translating into more games and more cheevos!)

With Lila excited about her new room, we decided the best thing to do is whisk her away from it to see some butterflies. Also included was a visit to see my sister and their dog, which Lila went absolutely nuts over. The butterflies were excited to see Lila, who managed to not eat a single one. To celebrate, we went to a local brewery where I became intoxicated and acted belligerent to the waitress, to the delight of all those around me. A trip to another self-service ice cream store (seem to be all the rage lately) completed the visit, with promises of a boat adventure next time.

Despite Lisa breaking her promise that my next child would be a son, we decided it was time to retrofit our old office into Lila's new room. After cramming 5 cubic yards of compressed crap into the now utility/server/office/storage room, Lila now has her own room play area. Lisa has informed me the nursery is now off-limits as it is no longer Lila's room, meaning our sleep will be interrupted by Lila visits regularly since she is no longer contained by a crib. Aside from the obligatory panorama, Lila and I decided to break the room in properly with our very first Booger Racer 5000

After my last adventure at Java Jungle, I decided it was time to have another with the Senator family. This time we decided on the Canton location which proved to be 80% more fun and 95% cleaner. It also had a slide Lila could get to on her own which was a tremendous help for my back. After alternating inappropriate and offensive photos for an hour, we quickly hungered for a nearby Mexican resturant followed by the also nearby ice cream establishment.

Today was opening day for some sports team in Detroit, and lots of people arrived in the dump I call work to be excited about sports. Excited about the excitement, I decided to document the whole thing including a panorama by the cops. For some reason a co-worker had a bear head to wear for the event, and you can imagine the confusion it created among people cheering for a different animal entirely.

Lila awoke to the paparazzi documenting her awakening. Today was the day she got to hunt for eggs from rabbits! Forget all the things we taught her about mammals and live birth, this was happening! Immediately excited after her first discovery, she exclaimed "abo" or however her default word is spelled at each egg she found, all the while sporting a hairstyle worthy of the 1980s. After uncovering them all, she discovered there was chocolate inside them. Thus began the largest sugar consumption of her young life, followed by the biggest sugar crash after brunch resulting in a 3 hour nap. Oh sugar.

My trusty Ninja 250 and I first met 4 years ago and it's been a beautiful relationship. Aside from some troublesome starts in cold weather, it's been good to me. What better way to repay those years of reliability than to abandon it for a younger model with fuel injection and a 50cc larger engine. It's a tale as old as time. With Lila having approved my new big girl bike, it was time to haggle with the dealer. I found myself looking forward to what ended up being a 4 hour trek through sales pitches, trade-in appraisals and outright lies. My last purchase taught me no matter how much of a jerk you are, the sales people are either not allowed to kick you out or too desperate to move product. My trusty 250 went from "the most you'll get is $1500" to upwards of $2,500 to make my $3,000 cash I was willing to throw in match invoice and make the sale. I took one last shot of my new and old bikes before abandoning my ex to whatever abuse the new owner was sure to dish out. After a kindly old man pointed out a cracked fender on my new bike which I was sure to get a IOU from the dealership for, I started up my new fuel injected baby and left that reliable old workhorse in the dust. Keep your hands to yourself, Focus ST!

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