Archived News starting from 12-14-2006 and earlier
BlogMicrosoft just released their
Robotics Studio for free (for non-commercial applications). Once I get my $40,000 robot I plan to program it to randomly spank or hump Lisa, freeing me from this repetitive task. Jeffords claims he already knew about this and that it will also program the new
Lego Mindstorms, but I'm not going to trust a budget robotics kit with this critical task. I know you're already asking yourself how you can get a copy of the program for your significant other, but that would cross over into a commercial application and I can't afford the $399 price of the commercial version. Sorry.
My recent employment with
Fathead had brought to light a glaring absence of Fatheads from my home. To correct this, I decided to get a
Stormtrooper Fathead. Lisa was absolutely thrilled I found something to man up the house a bit and immediately suggested placing it in the basement where nobody would see it. Pleased with her reaction, I made her
pose in front of it's very public location and once again referred her to the
good wives guide. It's a great feeling to know I now have a Stormtrooper protecting me from the frequent Morlock incursions. The cat, however, decided it was entirely too much to handle and decided to
hide in the fridge. Somebody call PETA.
If you're dating one, especially if you're engaged to one, they'll eventually
girl up your
house. There is a pre programmed routine in every girl which requires occupying every empty surface with some kind of knick knack, especially during holidays. Fortunately my masculinity has been on the decline sufficiently to actually enjoy the girlification. My only hope is that after the holidays I might reclaim some of my manhood.
Ron and Jenny decided to stop by for some
spaghetti jamboree and karaoke revolution. Ron and I unlocked the "Best New Duet" award, proving without a doubt we were the superior singers. While Ron and I retired to some starcraft/warcraft Lisa and Jenny decided to make a gingerbread house out of white creamy stuff. The innuendo was not lost on Lisa. A failed gnome-kidnapping attempt rounded out the evening.
A call from
Stavos requesting assistance with a piano move prompted a "you can't move a piano" from Lisa. Agreeing with her, I decided to give it a shot anyways. Steve also had doubts but after a quote of $150 to move it we decided to
give it a go. Surprisingly, we got it moved in less than an hour with only four people. It's the first white piano I've seen, and definatley needs a tuneup, but my reward of free lunch was well worth the effort.
I got
this jewel passed to me from an associate of
Brian and felt it must be shared with the world, or at least the billionth of a percent that see this blog. With lyrics like "I put my glow plug in your socket" I'm betting it was a hit when it came out in 1982, which translates to closer to 1992 for Russia. I listened to this the entire day at work and was significantly more productive as a result.
Yesterday MSDN finally put the
64-bit Vista ISO back up for download, so like any good nerd I installed it tonight on my
NEUTRON machine. Unlike
Keith's experience, mine went off without a hitch, and I setup a Windows XP
dual boot to boot. My
last adventure in a 64-bit OS didn't yield spectacular results, particularly in the area of drivers, but to my surprise Vista automatically downloaded the few drivers it didn't have out of the box. Even my RAID was recognized without the need for a lame floppy disk. I'm keeping my XP partition in case I run into compatibility problems, but when I rebooted back into XP to make sure it worked, I felt a little sadness creep over me. Yes, they really made Vista that much more fun. On to the nerd stats: my
system info window confirms I am indeed a 64-bit ub3r h@x0r. My
experience index indicates that I am exactly .7 better than
Keith. The experience index is a calculation of your total worth as a person, and your ranked place in society, 5.9 being the highest possible score. Want further details?
You got it. Of course no install documentation is complete without a
full frontal. I do like the Aero interface, it brings the clown from XP to a whole new level. How did I get Vista so soon when it doesn't officially release until January? Take a look at my experience score again and you'll know why.
My
addiction to Battlefield 2142 has slowly been growing in strength, but now that my
user profile is viewable online it has increased exponentially. The best motivating factor to play a game online is for bragging rights, which translates directly into how hardcore a person you are in real life (don't ask me to explain all the hardcore 12 year olds). Needless to say I'm currently on the bottom of the bragging rights totem pole so my need to play has never been greater. Lisa has also indicated her preference for the higher ranking players and informed me I have only few weeks before she starts interviewing them for possible fiance upgrades.
My last project before moving to Fathead was a
team commercial. Since I knew I was leaving soon I had no problem spending the time to write the script and assemble the building boxes (with some Canadian help). Mix in some ad-lib and the results are perfect. I'm sure nobody will get it, but it was alot of fun. Unfortunately our commercial came in second place but after watching the first place commercial I had to concede it was a better production.
Having been
kidnapped by the flatlanders more than a month ago, Butt the Gnome was finally returned to his rightful porch today. A visit to Ohio for Jaird's
birthday party gave Lisa and I the opportunity we needed to infiltrate the flatlander enclave and retrieve the gnome. We escaped without any major injuries but my RC Car sustained significant frontal damage and Lisa was hit with a temporary
neural disabling device. Happy to be free again, Butt is content to sit on my freezing porch once more.
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