Archived News starting from 10-01-2006 and earlier
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Gnome Cam was temporarily placed in a shrub from 1:15pm - 1:40pm today. Contrary to popular belief, it is not located inside the Gnomes head (a cool idea but the camera is too big). It's actually anchored to my porch light which was replaced during the shrub broadcast. The new porch light runs "ambience" lighting (henceforth referred to as "ambilight") with full brightness activated by a motion sensor. This is a big improvement from the old light which shorted randomly or didn't light at all. Unfortunately for Lisa, she arrived home seconds before me and was obviously stunned and confused by the new lighting system. I decided to help calm her down by switching to high beam on my motorcycle and
gunning it into her truck. This appeared to sooth her sufficiently as she was then able to get out of the truck and shake her head at me.
Less than two weeks after recovering my
stolen gnome, Butt the Gnome has been kidnapped. He disappeared at 9:35pm
Monday which now leaves me with no porch gnomes (Myrone the gnome was
stolen 3 years ago). Fortunately this kidnapping came with a
ransom note from some
Ohioans who had stopped by for
Karaoke Revolution earlier that night. Angry that they live in such a flat state, they decided to strike back with the kidnapping. Their lack of elevation makes them particularly brutal with kidnapping victims as is evidenced by the guard cats surrounding my gnome. I can only imagine the horrific pain my urethane friend is enduring without the comfort of a third dimension. Hang in there Butt, help will be there soon.
A
detailed agenda of our trip to the
Renaissance Festival made no mention of a particular event that was to transpire today. We arrived at the festival only slightly behind schedule due to some disciplinary action I had to give Lisa during the car ride. Once we parked, I prepared myself for resisting the urge to punch everyone dressed in tights that spoke to me. That accomplished, we went about our merry way visiting shops and watching the
Ded Bob Show. Eventually we made our way to the jousting field with appropriate food in hand. While we waited for the Knights to take the field, the unscheduled event occurred: Lisa asked "will you marry me?" I was so overcome with emotion I was only able to whisper a "yes" in response before I broke down and started crying. I wept openly for everyone on the Jousting field to see. I was overjoyed. Finally a girl thought I was pretty enough to marry, and she decided to ask me on a jousting field. What a romantic event! As my heart rate returned to normal and my emotions settled down, I realized she was asking where her ring was. Confused, I asked what she was talking about. After all,
she proposed to
me and should give
me a ring, but I hadn't thought that through until now. She clarified that the engagement isn't real until she has a diamond ring on her finger. I promptly Googled for acceptable proposals on my phone and found that our exchange was indeed a valid engagement. Unwavered, she once again informed me a diamond ring was required. Later at dinner, she told me that I had to propose to her and that her proposal wasn't real. I informed her that since the late 1920's women have become increasingly liberated from male-dominated traditions and are in fact legally allowed to propose to men. I told her it would have been polite to ask my parents first, but that her proposal was valid just the same. The debate continues, but I'm henceforth introducing her as my fiance.
UPDATE: we've reached a conclusion, it's now
official!
After
successfully defeating comment spam, I added a similar image verification to the
forums at the request of
Stavos today. A recent update to
AWStats allowing me to blacklist
referrer pages completed my defenses. Now, like a good game of
StarCraft, I wait for the spambots to bypass my bunkers and turrets to blast a big load of spam right into my
command center.
Back when I was in prenatal development, the neuron combination that controls my desire to watch professional sports never formed properly. I never had a problem playing sports, but watching them never interested me. This is probably also related to the fact that I prefer
girl drinks over beer. Over 80% of the women on the planet would probably see this as advantageous, but as fate would have it, my girlfriend is a
football freak. She's so into football I feel like I'm robbing the 96.93% of the men on this planet who would be ecstatic if their girlfriend was into it. Instead, my reaction is a mixture of confusion and fear as she yells and screams at the television. Fortunately I have enough masculinity in me to realize I have free time while she's watching, and head to my computer or car for some serious hobby action. Once I start whining about her watching football I'll know I'm going down the dark path of sexual uncertainty.
In part two of my credit fraud
saga, I find my
other credit card receiving a 10¢ validation charge from the
Islamic Center of Irving, TX. A text message indicating I was close to my limit prompted me to check and discover the initial 10¢ charge, along with two subsequent
Western Union charges for $521 each. Upon calling Western Union I learned my money went to Peru, but they quickly got tight-lipped about the email or phone number the person used once I told them it was fraudulent. I was told to file a police report for further information, which I did. I'm sure it will rot at the bottom of a pile of similar reports for all eternity, but at least I have proof of filing for my credit card company. Unsettled about the whole thing, I also activated a
fraud alert and recommend anyone else who has this happen do the same.
You read my blog, you loaded my Disc Golf album, then you left. Our time together was so short, but it was good. It could have ended there, on good terms, but 10 hours later you came back, and that's when you got nasty. With your Firefox 1.5.0.7 on Windows XP browser. When you came back, you requested
login.aspx and
post.aspx and were greeted with 404's. These requests were not from links! They were from your H@x0r mind! You had malicious intent! Betrayal was unleashed, our mutual trust broken! You were not interested in karaoke videos with off-tune people, or photos of my water pump. You were intending to do harm! Your next move: a comment with no content! Just "test"! What insanity was this? A feeling of fear washed over me, my trust in random internet visitors/bots shaken. Seeking justice, I found your logs, and your IP. Mr. 71.79.122.54, I shall strike you........ wait. That's my IP address. DAMN YOU
MORLOCK PRIME!
An
evening with the
Kelley's found us at Cass Benton for some Disc Golf followed by an intense session of
Karaoke Revolution. Here's a
video that sums up the shenanigans.
Ron hosted a
Cougar Mod Meet today and I took the opportunity to replace the water pump in my
Cougar. After removing it I could see the bearing seal
had been leaking for quite some time. The supercharger made the job significantly more difficult, but fortunatley I had plenty of help.
Mark took over removal and installation procedures,
Josh helped with hose management, and
Ron provided tools and coolant once I realized the coolant in my engine was now on his driveway. A round of
Lisa battles followed by dinner and a movie on Ron's
80" (correction: 152") screen ended with a successful startup and operation of my cooling system. Puma and I could have done without the hour long wait at the border afterwards though.
Less than a week after my
last camping trip, Lisa got the urge for more. Our destination:
my back yard. After she scouted the location, purchased the food and organized the supplies I tried to keep up by making a fire. Shortly after we setup a
wild animal made off with some food and liquor, then sat down and joined Camp Lisa. During our campfire conversation Lisa suggested a part of my anatomy was less than average, which began nonstop innuendos until we passed out from smores.
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