Archived News starting from 11-08-2006 and earlier
BlogThe safety rail at the bottom of my shower door has been off for awhile after coming loose and falling into the tub. My procrastination on replacing it finally caught up with me this morning when I bumped the door off it's track and
showered myself with shattered safety glass (instead of water). Refreshed, and bleeding from several minor scratches, I tiptoed through the glass to stop the bodily hemorrhaging. Deciding not to risk a trip to the morlock cave for my other shower, I have an enjoyable aroma to share with my coworkers. I also discovered a glass shower door costs $100 and 7 days to replace.
Today is Voting day, so I thought I'd provide a guide for anyone who has yet to partake in our democratic process.
- Go here to see your ballot and polling place if you're registered.
- Research your candidates! Most have killed babies and supported terrorism according to the people they are running against.
- Arrive at your polling place with your voting card or drivers licence.
- There will be 4 tables with no directions. Ask one of the tables what to do.
- You'll be directed to the "Voter Application Table." Fill out a voter application (name and address)
- A nice old lady will smile and ask for your application. She'll drop it and you'll see the other people with your last name registered to vote.
- When she recovers she'll put a sticker on your application and refer you to another table
- This table will take your stickered application hand you your actual ballot
- Take your ballot (in it's folder) and proceed to a mega-secure voting booth (table with a pen and three walls)
- Take your ballot out of the folder and Vote! (fill in the circles). The machine will beep and embarrass you if you vote for too many people for any category. You can vote for as many categories as you want (or none at all!)
- Put your ballot back in the folder and go to the table you haven't visited yet.
- A scantily clad teenage girl will smile at you and pop her bubble gum. Hand her the folder with your ballot.
- She'll take your application from the front of the folder and hand it back.
- Go to the VoteMaster 5000 and feed your ballot into the machine. It will beep and show you the number of people that voted today.
- Hand the folder back and scream something in latin, then run like hell.
Our good friends from Ohio
visited us today for some
RC Car and
Quake III action. What better way to enjoy a rare 60 degree November day than smashing expensive RC cars into each other. Because Ohio is so flat, most Michigan food has too much elevation to be appetizing to Ohioans, so Lisa cooked some Ohio approved food for us. No doubt a direct result of me sending her
this link. Butt the Gnome remains a captive of the Ohoians until I retreive him next weekend.
Senator Kelley stopped by for some wedding planning followed by a game of
Warcraft III. Shortly thereafter, he returned with
Mrs. Steven Kelly who joined Lisa for some
Karaoke Revolution while(st) the senator and I snuck off for yet another Warcraft III game. The
last time we played Warcraft was over 4 years ago and it was quickly discovered that we suck equally as much now as we did then. Amazingly, my original copy had somehow escaped my regular eBay cleansing, which was fortunate since equally as amazing the game still costs $30. The games weren't just for entertainment purposes though: as best man, Steve gains valuable experience needed for
defending my bride should her family try to take her back.
Despite my all-time record of 3 trick-or-treaters, Lisa decided to purchase excessive amounts of candy in hopes the record would be broken. I live close to a trailer park but apparently my house is not up to the strict trailer park candy standards. That or I'm just really creepy, probably both. Needless to say the record still stands at 3 and I have many sugar highs to look forward to. We also learned that
The Grudge is either too artistic or not enough for us to appreciate, and that a
real live ghost stopped by for candy. The ghost may have been a side effect of a bad video connection but after watching that movie I'm a believer.
My
escape from Eve Online only 6 months old, I've been sucked into
Battlefield 2142 as my new winter game obsession. Fortunately this one has a one-time-fee of $40 instead of the monthly $20 that Eve charged. The blame
again lies squarely with John, so if Lisa gets angry she knows who to attack. I recommend everyone purchase this so we can all waste time together. It takes awhile to figure everything out in the game, but once you do it's alot of fun. There's also a
bunch of exploits so you can get back at all the 15-year olds playing in their parents basement.
After reviewing todays
Gnome Cam I noticed Lisa and I performed a seranade together. We just weren't in the right places at the right time. I quickly corrected it through the power of photoshop and now bring you
the dance. I call it "Leaf Vac Phone Love" and if all goes well, you should have an epileptic seizure.
Lunchtime for me typically involves two work associates. It would be more appropriate to call them something other than associates, but for the sake of simplicity I'm going to stick with associates. Yesterday
Duane's
hacked video camera rode along and the resulting shenanigans were recorded. Now you can
experience first hand what it's like to be an associate, through the eyes of someone about to receive a shenanigan.
With winter right around the corner, it's time to regress into a large group of pale hunchbacks and scream "Camper!" together. The November LAN is forthcoming and instead of setting a date and demanding attendance I thought I'd offer up the entire month of November to choose from.
Pick your Saturday for this years annual event, most popular wins. Some options may be removed as Lisa informs me of my prior obligations for this month, but as of now it's wide open.
Apparently the I'm not the only one who took the subspecies prediction article to heart. A recent jump to
Something Awful yielded this
political story starring the popular split species. I'm glad the article references the original movie, the second one wasn't nearly as involved with the storyline, plus the old morlocks looked cooler. Guess I finally have to chain Lisa down and make her watch it so she can appreciate the recent references.
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