Archived News starting from 07-04-2013 and earlier
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With the
success of last years firework show, we decided to bring Lila to Henry Ford for this years celebration. Her history of
dislike for loud noises convinced us a difficult to exit public gathering would be the best option for her third exposure. Fortunately, there was a full hour of loud music leading up to the
main event, successfully damaging her eardrums and numbing her to the main event. We quickly discovered the location we picked to sit put a tree directly between us and the fireworks, so I grabbed Lila and ran to
an open section as soon as I could. The numbing effect quickly wore off, and we made a premature exit which easily saved us an hour of waiting in traffic.
With the Senator still high from his
Honda purchase, we were invited to attend a pork loin pool party as a guise to show off his new car. Knowing it was a trap, I demanded 120% garlic infusion from the pork loin which is physically impossible, but he promised it would be done. After several hours of explaining to Lila why Hondas are evil, and explaining that touching one would immediately vaporize her, we headed to the house for the celebration. I of course
camoflauged my Fusion so as not to confuse the neighbors. On arrival, we discovered it was in fact a new gazebo that was the main attraction, allowing me to keep my elephant gun safely in my trunk instead of aimed at an engine block. Lulled into a false sense of security thanks to the pork loin and multipurpose frog ball pit/pool/raft, the Honda conversation crept up on me and suddenly I was standing in front of the abomination. Irate at the trickery, and suspecting a more realistic 95% garlic infusion rate, I whisked my family away from the insult before more damage could be done.
My drive to work was delayed due to filming of the new Need for Speed movie. I complained about the delay and how it affected my productivity on the way to work, only to immediately leave my desk to
take photos of the whole thing on arrival. Later, we heard some tire squealing and were treated to this
drift hotness while secretly hoping the driver would crash spectacularly and make it more interesting. Finally, I created the
video that will make me rich in internet monies beyond my wildest dreams!
With
Senator Kelley not having worked downtown Detroit for several years, he was growing tiresome of the Ann Arbor hippies.
It was decided some training would be scheduled in Detroit, and he jumped on the opportunity to
visit.
Wonder and amazement greeted him at every turn. The pandhandlers and hipsters did not disappoint, it was the exact opposite of the Ann Arbor he had grown to know and love.
Sadly, his Craftmine boyfriend Marco was out, but he was able to enjoy his smell and sit in his seat. The nemesis was also given a surprise, and nervously endured the visit.
There was much debate on the topic of leading and fonting, but sadly no physical violence. Filled with the wonder of a coffee robot, the Senator returned to the safety of not Detroit, only
to dream of the adventures he had in the soon to be bankrupt metropolis.
After attending a
recent MI GANG meeting, I was inspired to become a successful mobile app developer. I was actually inspired several years ago when I
first got a Windows Phone, but inspiration quickly turned to laziness and a half-finished carpool app languished for months. Recharged with
motivation, a "Where's Joseph" and "Lunch Chooser" app quickly cranked out of my app factory and now sit in certification processing. My dream of being a "published app developer" has never been closer!
Just over a week since the
Xbox E3 bomb that set media outlets into rage mode, Xbox has
reversed course on the DRM plans for games. Gone are the 24 hour checks and instant own games, as well as the
family sharing and digital loaning plans. I'm sure digital copies will end up getting all these features, and physical disc copies will soon become extinct, but for now my thriving
eBay business of used games can continue into the next generation. Of course everyone is now upset the DRM features are gone, but I never paid much attention to the angry internet since my destiny mandates
participation in the Xbox One world.
In what is now an
annual tradition, I spent my fathers day on a boat. Lila was initially pretty amped up about the whole
adventure, but after an hour decided to throw a massive tantrum. Eventually she fell asleep, solving whatever problem she had herself. Docking at a restaurant and loitering for over an hour
was by far the most enjoyable part, as the dock hands grew increasingly impatient and were unable to do anything about us. The following day was the now standard yesterdog/park/spoon licker ice cream combo (without the yesterdog)
to finish off the trip.
During the
E3 live shows on Xbox, I noticed
the same twitter handle pop up several times on the feed ribbon running at the bottom of the show. Most of the comments were lame, so I decided to
chime in with a legitimate question and was shocked at how fast it
made it on air. Now giddy,
I followed up with my
beta program demand and
a Bob Ross comment which cemented my
place in the Xbox E3 Day 2 coverage hall of fame. MajorNelson will surely pick me for the coming beta when you consider this and the
famous photo.
I now refresh my inbox hourly waiting for the coming invite.
The E3 media briefings kicked off today, and
my body was ready for Xbox One details.
Microsoft already
broke the news
about it's system-wide DRM, so the briefing focused on new games; of which I'll be picking up Battlefield 4 and Forza 5. Later, Sony
won E3 by announcing no system-wide DRM. I was convinced Xbox introduced the system under publisher pressure, but now it's clear they came up with it all on their own, dooming the Xbox at least for launch. An excellent
video and
twitter drove the point home, but my fanboy status was confirmed as I unlocked the
day one pre-order achievement despite the draconian DRM that will cripple my eBay game reselling addiction. I can see the PS4 easily outselling the Xbox purely on the DRM issue. I can only hope Microsoft changes their minds, or the PS4 is forced into a similar system by publishers.
With the last (easily obtainable) Angry Birds Classic achievement close to unlocking, I decided Lila might do enough launches to get it.
She gleefully accepted my challenge, and
launched birds with varying effectiveness, and maximum entertainment.
Sure enough, the
achievement popped and Lila had no reaction.
As of this moment, my daughter is free from the addiction I suffer from, making me hopeful it's not genetic (and reassuring me I can farm her out for my own achievements).
She did, however, take the phone to bed to continue playing it, which gave me some cause for concern. Hopefully the robotic parents we entrust our children to in the future will be better at discipline than me.
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