Archived News starting from 01-12-2013 and earlier
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With Grand Rapids trending as the
highest flu concentration for the season, I decided it was high time to
visit my sister. Despite shopping at a gas station, visiting a local park, eating at Yesterdog and enjoying some frozen yogurt nobody
showed any signs of flu-like symptoms. Disappointed, we decided to stay an extra day in hopes the virus might not have taken hold yet with no results. Either Google Trends is full of crap or
we are immune to the latest flu supervirus.
Today at approximately 1:49pm, my proud eyesore
deflated. My initial check confirmed the power is still connected, which led me to the conclusion of
sabotage. After suffering with the giant snowman for more than 8 years, it was only a matter of time before someone snapped. My guess is a localized EMP similar to the
Planetside event.
Sadly, my 8ft snowman never received the commercial success it was due and I'm unable to secure a replacement. I can only hope the damage is reversable and it will once again frustrate everyone that passes by.
One month into my
Snapshot program, I learned that driving between the hours of midnight and 4:00am is the "Danger Zone," so I've programmed my Focus to play that song continuiously if I'm driving between those times. Fortunately I'm an old fart and so far haven't driven during what Progressive refers to as "high risk" hours. Aside from the time of day, "hard brakes" (which seems to register if I stop faster than a downshift) is the only other factor I can see that affects my discount. Driving 95 for hours isn't flagged as any kind of danger, and taking onramps at 60mph is also acceptable. Even with my excessive number of "hard brakes" I'm still getting an 8% discount, so once I master the art of stopping without using my brakes I'll hopefully be able to double that.
Less than a month since my last
Google check I've received
yet another one.
My internet millions are piling up faster than I can spend it on useless crap, which means it's time to cash them all in for $1 bills and roll in it like a boss.
Amazingly, the views on my
video of might are still growing, so a check a month might become a reality for me.
It's high time I started exploiting Lila and making videos to scar her when she's older.
Our Christmas extravaganza began today, with Lila learning how to rip off wrapping paper efficiently. She got through 2-3 presents before focusing exclusively on her princess castle which effectively ended
the opening of presents. Then it was off to Pennsylvania where we arrived before the great snowstorm of 2012 for some cousin-on-cousin action. Lila enjoyed all activities except the snow fort and sledding,
which was a clear indication to me she wanted to move far enough south to never have to deal with snow again.
With only 1 day left before Christmas, Michigan decided to dump 2 inches of white stuff all over the place.
Lila was awestruck and clearly confused as to why her parents chose to live in such a bizzare place. After some exploration and sledding, she came to the same conclusion as me and wanted no part of cold weather.
Apparently the world did end lastnight as Xbox achievements are
now available on iOS. The primary reason I own a Windows Phone has just been cross-platformed, turning my entire world upside down. Unsure of what to do next, I'm suddenly drawn toward an iDevice for a
measly 50G that is unobtainable by any other means. I've resisted it's dark power of mass adoption for so long, and now I find my soul is only worth 50G. Or I can just borrow one for an hour, which might be my solution.
What better way to celebrate the end of the world then an
end of the world party?
At least if the zombies or asteroids kill us all we'll be plenty liquored up and ready for it.
My attempt at making a vault-like atmosphere wound up confusing everyone in attendance, and roughly 20% of the
dollar store glow items malfunctioned. The mandatory viewing of the 2012 movie wrapped up just in time for an EST end of the world, but we
decided the Mayans lived in the mountain time zone. When 2:00am rolled around we finally gave up and accepted the world would continue.
Today marks the
10th anniversary of the giant
inflatable eyesore that is my 8ft snowman. This year Lila
helped reanimate him
with me, but sadly the Morlock is 2,300 miles away this year and won't be raping it. When I told Lila this the
disappointment was evident, but she quickly recovered after discovering she could kick it as much as she wanted.
The
Wayne County Lightfest consists of bright lights
viewable from the car, which makes for a perfect toddler event. While we weren't initially sure if Lila could
actually see the lights, she started making noises similar to the smurfs when they see fireworks and we were convinced.
Several sheriff cop cars also drove by with their lights on at one point, clearly jealous of the attention the
other lights were getting. Lila withheld noises while the cops passed, showing the same distrust of authority
that her dad has.
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