Archived News starting from 12-31-2012 and earlier
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Less than a month since my last
Google check I've received
yet another one.
My internet millions are piling up faster than I can spend it on useless crap, which means it's time to cash them all in for $1 bills and roll in it like a boss.
Amazingly, the views on my
video of might are still growing, so a check a month might become a reality for me.
It's high time I started exploiting Lila and making videos to scar her when she's older.

Our Christmas extravaganza began today, with Lila learning how to rip off wrapping paper efficiently. She got through 2-3 presents before focusing exclusively on her princess castle which effectively ended
the opening of presents. Then it was off to Pennsylvania where we arrived before the great snowstorm of 2012 for some cousin-on-cousin action. Lila enjoyed all activities except the snow fort and sledding,
which was a clear indication to me she wanted to move far enough south to never have to deal with snow again.
With only 1 day left before Christmas, Michigan decided to dump 2 inches of white stuff all over the place.
Lila was awestruck and clearly confused as to why her parents chose to live in such a bizzare place. After some exploration and sledding, she came to the same conclusion as me and wanted no part of cold weather.
Apparently the world did end lastnight as Xbox achievements are
now available on iOS. The primary reason I own a Windows Phone has just been cross-platformed, turning my entire world upside down. Unsure of what to do next, I'm suddenly drawn toward an iDevice for a
measly 50G that is unobtainable by any other means. I've resisted it's dark power of mass adoption for so long, and now I find my soul is only worth 50G. Or I can just borrow one for an hour, which might be my solution.

What better way to celebrate the end of the world then an
end of the world party?
At least if the zombies or asteroids kill us all we'll be plenty liquored up and ready for it.
My attempt at making a vault-like atmosphere wound up confusing everyone in attendance, and roughly 20% of the
dollar store glow items malfunctioned. The mandatory viewing of the 2012 movie wrapped up just in time for an EST end of the world, but we
decided the Mayans lived in the mountain time zone. When 2:00am rolled around we finally gave up and accepted the world would continue.

Today marks the
10th anniversary of the giant
inflatable eyesore that is my 8ft snowman. This year Lila
helped reanimate him
with me, but sadly the Morlock is 2,300 miles away this year and won't be raping it. When I told Lila this the
disappointment was evident, but she quickly recovered after discovering she could kick it as much as she wanted.

The
Wayne County Lightfest consists of bright lights
viewable from the car, which makes for a perfect toddler event. While we weren't initially sure if Lila could
actually see the lights, she started making noises similar to the smurfs when they see fireworks and we were convinced.
Several sheriff cop cars also drove by with their lights on at one point, clearly jealous of the attention the
other lights were getting. Lila withheld noises while the cops passed, showing the same distrust of authority
that her dad has.
In honor of the last sequential date to occur, at least in my lifetime, I decided to dine at the famous
super hero eatery of Lunchtime Global and setup a train around the Christmas tree.
Lila
did not approve of the latter,
most likely due to the completely unrelated nature of the activity.

Overdue for a visit with the Schmeiders, it was decided we would meet in downtown Rochester for some pre-holiday merrymaking
I was unaware how
completely overboard the city goes with
regard to holiday lighting, so we took a stroll in the cold weather after dinner to enjoy it.
We discovered the lighting also managed to make room for ice cream, so we promptly filled it from a local diner.

For my 35th birthday, I wanted two things:
to see the recently re-opened Belle Isle aquarium, and the new Wreck-it Ralph movie. Both dreams came true
today, with Lila patiently making it through each one in order. The aquarium was much smaller than I expected,
with only half the tanks containing fish of some sort but the empty ones helped keep Lilas excitement in check.
Wreck-it Ralph was able to hold her attention for 90% of the movie, after which she played "wander the theatre"
until it was over.
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