AtomicInternet Archived News

Yes, the rumors are true, Alpha (my primary house) is up for sale. I know this brings with it alot of questions so I'm holding a news conference in my head for your benefit.
Q: Oh my god! Where are you going! Who'll laugh at all my jokes?!?
A: Relax, I'm not going anywhere for a good 2 years unless a mentally deranged millionaire is willing to pay my outrageous asking price. Since Michael Jackson is bankrupt, this isn't looking likely.
Q: Well why'd you put it on the market now?
A: My Beta house has been on sale for 1.5 years now with no luck (thanks to lower than average demand). I figure it might take me that long to sell my current one as well (at a decent profit) so I figured I'd start offering to the nutcases who might buy. More opportunity for one to find me. Plus if someone is insane enough to buy it for this price, I'll bank the profit and live in an apartment until I figure out what I want to do.
Q: So you might be moving, but probably not?
A: If I sell my house at this price I'll have a profit of $50,000. If someone offered you $50,000 on the street to move out of your house would you accept? Also, what is the likelyhood that someone would make this offer? Next question please.
Q: I have tech!
A: While not really a question, I'll respond by saying you will be a formidable opponent at the next event.
Q: Myrn!
A: Also not a question, but yes, Myrn!
Q: What about the Morlocks?
A: Beta (current Morlock house) will most likely never sell at anything close to a reasonable price, and very likely not before they move on to bigger and better things (Te-has). Look for another conference regarding just the Morlocks in the near future.
Q: Who's even reading this anyways?
A: Not many, but I'm burned out on my 10hrs/day project at work and needed a break.
Q: Seriously, pink 5 inch heels? Girltalk? WTF?
A: The shoes were purchased for me as a dare, the girltalk game was a joke aimed at some coworkers. I have not detected a change in my desire to be female (aside from the obvious benefits) but I'll keep you updated on that front as well. How did this get so off topic?
Q: Pants!
A: Yes.