AtomicInternet Archived News

At approximately 12:50pm, upon learning I had not shoveled my driveway after the recent snow, InternetMenace made a direct threat. He said if I did not shovel my driveway in 5 minutes "something bad would happen." As can be seen from the webcam, at 12:55pm my already depressed snowman finally had his life ended. I've confirmed the beheading was indeed the terrible act promised by InternetMenace. Now, with a proven threat track record, he has claimed more "accidents" will happen unless I move to Florida and become a Latin Pop Sensation. I can't bear another loss as great as my snowman, so I must comply. Wish me luck with my future career. If you see my album, please buy it so I can become an official "sensation." My life and loved ones depend on it.