AtomicInternet Archived News

All the Taco Bell locations in metro Detroit are being either renovated or torn down and rebuilt completely. The new "classier" building that replaces it looks more like an upscale restaurant than a fast food location. I'm classifying these new buildings as "Demolition Man prepped" since sometime in the near future, Taco Bell will be the only restaurant to survive the franchise wars, and will sport this same upper class appearance. The building itself doesn't bother me, but having the drive through operator introduce himself before taking my order, and finding peppermints mixed in with my food creeps me out. At Taco Bell I expect my order taker to say nothing and maintain a look of disillusioned defeat, my food to be crushed into pieces, and the building to have heavy amounts of grease and dust in every corner. Changing all 3 at once can only mean the new morality laws will soon be passed and they'll start serving the protein paste in place of tacos. On the plus side, I'll finally discover how seashell buttons can replace toilet paper, and Lisa will finally have to stop dumping salt on her food as it will be illegal. Hopefully Denis Leary and his counter-culture gang can bring back the Taco Bell I used to know and love.