AtomicInternet Archived News

Our trip to Los Angeles began with a bird splat shortly after takeoff. Upon hearing a loud thud and Myrns "Oh my God" klaxon you can clearly see the aftermath of a flock of seagulls (birds, not the 80s band) hitting the wing, less than 50ft from the engine. Fortunately we were on an Airbus A320 which means our outcome would have been identical to the Hudson crash, complete with New Yorkers appearing in the water with us. After an altercation with a prada sunglasses wearing wife abuser, we were on our way to Beverly Hills so we could talk like Cameron from Ferris Buellers Day Off and take photos of all the rich houses that lost 50% of their value. A stop at Carneys Express resulted in Myrn testing the rigidity of the rental car frame as he bottomed out on the curb. All drivers owning $80,000+ vehicles in the immediate area (every car but ours) snubbed their noses in disapproval. The 78 degree weather demanded a trip to the beach, so after a short cruise on Mulholland drive we obliged in Malibu where I cursed my decision not to include shorts in my wardrobe. Our final destination was Slappy and his wife/fiance/girlfriend where we learned he is deathly afraid of crossing the street, and that Weinderschnitzel makes a pretty good Sea Dog (so named because it plops undigested in the toilet). A twisty and nautious trip into the mountains yielded a great view of Los Angeles where Myrn once again regaled the tale of the battle of L.A.