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With summer here, my number of planned weekend events far exceeds the number of Lisa's available weekends. The solution: a second girlfriend. A loophole in international law allows me to be engaged to Lisa in the United States, and have a girlfriend in Canada. Melinda accepted the girlfriend contract and was nice enough to drive me to the annual Niagra Falls trip since Lisa had to work the weekend. After some time practicing of first aid in the imaginary and actual pools, we braved the 90° weather for dinner, the arcade and a visit to the falls. After a night of flatulence and shenanigans, we were off to the park for the annual picnic where we managed to feed a seagull to the point it could no longer fly. Another successful trip with our record of no arrests still in tact.