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My friend JOSEPH, who recently survived Hurricane Charley has been having trouble getting aide from FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency). Apparently he was not aware of the absolute power this organization wields. I calmly explained to him that they could easily re-task one of their WarMonGer satellites to vaporize him and everything he ever came into contact with. I suggested he try a more reserved approach such as kneeling down and reciting the pledge of allegiance to the organization before asking for assistance. He agreed to give it a try, and I hope they will forgive his previous complaint. He is a good friend, but if FEMA decides he is no longer a viable citizen I will have to bid him farewell, and will miss him dearly. With that, I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. And to the organization, for which it stands, one group, to rule the world, with absolute and all encompasing power.