AtomicInternet Archived News

With the Senator still high from his Honda purchase, we were invited to attend a pork loin pool party as a guise to show off his new car. Knowing it was a trap, I demanded 120% garlic infusion from the pork loin which is physically impossible, but he promised it would be done. After several hours of explaining to Lila why Hondas are evil, and explaining that touching one would immediately vaporize her, we headed to the house for the celebration. I of course camoflauged my Fusion so as not to confuse the neighbors. On arrival, we discovered it was in fact a new gazebo that was the main attraction, allowing me to keep my elephant gun safely in my trunk instead of aimed at an engine block. Lulled into a false sense of security thanks to the pork loin and multipurpose frog ball pit/pool/raft, the Honda conversation crept up on me and suddenly I was standing in front of the abomination. Irate at the trickery, and suspecting a more realistic 95% garlic infusion rate, I whisked my family away from the insult before more damage could be done.