AtomicInternet Archived News

In a shocking turn of events, Senator Kelley was arrested today in front of my house by a local school bus driver. He was only yards away from salvation when the unmarked (but obviously police) car collided with the Senator, rendering him incapacitated and unable to escape. Charges include uttering and publishing, indecent exposure and impersonating a police officer. Re-election seems impossible, but we were allowed to complete our planned trip to Microcenter before he was incarcerated.