AtomicInternet Archived News

Archived News starting from 12-15-2003 and earlier

Melissa and I went to the Wayne County Lightfest tonight. The line wound around Hines drive for a total of a half-hour wait to get to the beginning. While we were waiting in line, we estimated 4 cars a minute were going through @ $5/car, so $1200/hour for 5 hours = $6,000 a night. We considered robbing the ticket booth, but decided to just pay up instead. We were greeted by two soldiers guarding an archway of light that looked better than the photo. Next was a jewish holiday scene, crazy hockey skier things and some kind of barn. There were alot more, but those are the only photos that showed up well. We got a lot of video as well, such as: lake monster, golfer, frog jump, elf, train, santa and reindeer, jumping reindeer and happy holidays. Alas, it was time to say goodbye to the lightfest. We both left feeling changed, and wishing for $6,000.

Lastnight I arrived at my associate Steve's new house and began lighting candles. I'm sure the neighbors (and their dog) were convinced I was trying to burn the place down, but in reality I was setting a scene. I quickly iced some champagne and left the house at 7:27:04 pm Redford Standard Time. For the next half hour I sat parked in the YWCA parking lot across the street from his house playing "Bejewled" in my truck. I glanced occasionally to see if his house was on fire, which I'm sure prompted many discussions within the YWCA involving calls to the police. Fortunately I was either agreed to be harmless or the Redford Police were busy elsewhere. Finally, at exactly 8:04:05 pm RST I saw Steve's Taurus pull into his driveway. I eventually convinced myself there was no fire and left them to do whatever newly engaged people do. Congratulations Steve and Candy: You can read all about it at DetroitArchive.com.

My friend Joseph recently took part in an undercover experiment. His results were educational, so I thought I would share them.

Apparently the entire Road Runner network was down for about an hour from 2:30 - 3:30pm. Webcam and blacknova were unaffected aside from the unavailability.

Status	Start Date (EST)	Notes
Red	12/9/2003 2:28 PM	Road Runner is currently experiencing issues with Internet connectivity. Subscribers in the affected area(s) may have no connection to the Internet or latency/slow connectivity. Our engineers are working quickly to resolve this issue. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Another year and another birthday. This year, as always, I turned 19 today. My dad stopped by and gave me a really cool pen along with some personalized towels. Melissa's parents got me a tuke and shirt and Melissa got me a towel, spongebob shirt, laundry hamper, and some socks. Later on, Steve stopped by with 50 DVD-R's (a practical gift for nerds). I also got an Xmas CD and baloon animal kit from my mom, along with a swing CD from Melissa. The celebration of aging is complete.

Last year I assembled a giant inflatable snowman to try and become the most obnoxious person on my block. Since this had no noticeable effect on my neighbors, I decided to expand my arsenel of decorations to a row of lighted candy canes. Melissa donated roof lights and an elf ladder to bring us up a level. I'm quite satisfied with the results, and my neighbors continue to wave and smile, so next year I'll have to get a family of inflatables and block the sidewalk with them. We also put up our big and small christmas trees. Once again, the remaining gnome approved.

An exciting new development in the investigation into Myrone the Gnome's disapperance! Using the JWEC4000 computer, I was able to interpolate between the 12:05pm and 12:10pm images from the day of the kidnapping. What I found was astonishing! What has been estimated as 12:07pm, we can clearly see Nukie^TM from the movie "Nukie!©^TM" stealing Myrone during his regular escapes from stock footage NASA engineers. I can only assume the failure of his movie, and subsequent lack of action figures made him jealous of the Gnome mega star, and the kidnapping was simply a crime of passion. I have enlisted the help of Tiko and Toki along with the talking monkey to track down Nukie^TM before his river of snot suffocates Myrone.

While looking at my webbot report, I noticed the "Netcraft Web Server Survey" webbot. Curious, I searched on google and found them. Unlike most bots that search content, this bot searches for what serves the content. This allows them to create a sampling graph representative of market share for various server platforms. They apparently catalog this information since they have my software history for this server on file. A neat tool to discover what a particular site is (and has) been running on.

The fraternity of my two web gnomes was shattered today at 12:10pm. Myrone the Gnome is now missing in action. Butt the Gnome has been bolted to the handrail ever since he was kidnapped and then returned, having been violated. Myrone, however, had no such protection. His vulnerability was exploited, and his whereabouts are unknown. Having been a kidnapping victim himself, Butt is leading the investigation into his disappearance. If you have any information leading to the apprehension of this perpetrator, please forward it to buttthegnome@nuclearfusion.org. Below is the evidence accumulated thus far.

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