AtomicInternet Archived News

After a call from my "wife" asking where a hand shovel was, I decided to tune into todays GnomeCam to see what was up. To my surprise, somebody who looked a great deal like her was out in the yard weeding at 1:00pm. Not only is this unusual behavior for my wife, it's unprecedented, which immediately lead me to believe someone had kidnapped my wife and a lookalike was now weeding my front yard. After arriving home, my geiger counter did not register any radiation, which ruled out alien abduction, but her resemblance was so uncanny it seemed unlikely it was only cosmetic modification to a similar person. The chicken my mother was cooking in the stove mysteriously had the pan crack, which then prompted the lookalike to prepare it for rotisserie, no doubt something she saw my wife doing on a recent photo album, hoping that would disspell my suspicions. The neighbors then arrived for dinner, and all appeared to be fooled, but I know what I saw and Lisa if you're out there, I'm still looking for you!