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Rating: 3.33 - Link to this Article 12-05-2009 Deflowering of a Morlock View Webcam for 12-05-2009 24 COMMENTS
The Xbox collective gains another victim today as I loaned my extender Xbox to the Morlock in anticipation of his delayed Elite. After indoctrinating him into the cult and dutifully avoiding the side effects such as girlfriend desertion and wallet lightening he was up and running. I managed to spend over an hour deflowering him while Erin looked on sadly, knowing her share of the smokestack and siren maintenance was about to increase exponentially.
User Comments for 12-05-2009:
I feel like I've lost all my innocense.
MorlockPrime
Already playing Games during his lunch break I applaud the quick and creepy speediness to your addiction Mr. Prime. Welcome to the club.
Stavos
Oh god.. his virus did indeed spread to my friend request on Xbox live... it has begun!
Excelcier
Yes, it's beautiful! Need more points!
MorlockPrime
Awww they're so cute when they're n00bs. Morlocky it's called Achievements" not just points. So inocent.....
Stavos
If I end you, will i get more points?
MorlockPrime
Still didn't learn did you? Yes if you end me you'll get "Achievement points" ...slow Morlock
Stavos
Ok, i'm on my way over to your house (you still live in the shack surrounding a shiny xbox right?) to claim your life and my "points"!
MorlockPrime
I'm a little disappointed there wasn't more anti-canada in these comments.
MorlockPrime
Canada sucks? That better?
Stavos
Ahh, i feel at home again.
MorlockPrime
(insert eye rolling)
Excelcier
Damn it! Ron is eye rolling in the hopes of dethroning my second place comment score! Where is my xbox achievement for redethroning him?
MorlockPrime
5G – DETRHONE A CANADIAN (what you were expecting more points? C'mon it's a Canadian you’re lucky you get an additional 4G!)
Stavos
Wow, i'm surprised I got any. I would expect a -20 for allowing him to dethrone me.
MorlockPrime
Nope Achievement points are restricted to USC and cannot be converted due to Canada’s ability to prove it's a real nation. (NOTE: In order to become a nation you must have an actual leader living on your soil and 1 military jet.)
Stavos
If only they could find some way to turn their hockey sticks into weapons. What a terror they would prove to be. If they were fighting a war on the north pole. Canadians and Santa unite!
MorlockPrime
Two fictional characters slapping woodened sticks wrapped with duct tape on a glacier c'mon Morlock that's a bit farfetched. Now go fetch me some eloi fingers with dipping sauce it’s overcast and the sun won’t be seen for many months.
Stavos
Come now Stavos. The sun is gone, possibly forever. It's the time of the Morlock. Go and fetch me some people for eating. Remember the order of acceptableness: Eloi from Farmington better than Eloi from Redford better than Everyone else alive better than canadians)
MorlockPrime
Don't Canadians taste like bacon? If so your equation is flawed.
Stavos
An oft believed misconception. Actually it's the North Poleans that taste like bacon. The Canadians just capture them with their hockey sticks, marinate them, then say they're Canadian bacon.
MorlockPrime
I've also heard Canadians use hockey sticks to aid them in standing & walking since their brains haven't evolved the ability to stand up straight yet. True?
Stavos
Not just that! They also use it to help chew bubble gum. Not while they're walking of course. They can't do two things at once!
MorlockPrime
Now I know what Commander Ryker and a Morlock would talk about.
AtomicInternet

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